Background Noise (backgroundnoise) wrote,
Background Noise
backgroundnoise

  • Music:

But I have seen the same, I know the shame in your defeat.

This is what of the few places I have left that I can still talk about anything and everything that is going on in my life. Very few people know about this place, and I like that it's still open to the public. If there were no chance of anyone happening upon my little piece of privacy I would feel weird. Like I was writing to myself.

Today is Thanksgiving. We had my in-laws over to our house. It seems weird to be married and doing the whole traditional thing. I never thought this is where I would be. I'm too stubborn, demanding, and maybe a little too crazy to hold on to a relationship. It's been over 3 years now. I thought after I got married the thought of it would stop scaring the living crap out of me. Every day I wonder if I made the right choice and everyday I'm so thankful to be with a man so patient and giving. I feel guilty because we're never really in sync, but we get along. That's my default answer to anything that goes wrong. There's something about not getting sick of someone that just never happened to me before. Weird.

My life is going well. I'll graduate in about 6 months. I'm laid off from my current job... and I'm grateful for every week I don't have to go to that horrid factory. It sucks how much money can drive a person. As soon as I save enough to feel secure, I'll quit. I hope it's sooner than later.

I've been feeling intense nostalgia. I keep hearing music from when I first was discovering myself. I miss the friends, the feelings, and the excitement of a new world. I really do miss you Brian. In all of your pretentiousness, you were super funny and knew exactly how to not talk about anything. I had a very friendly love for you and I'm sorry I crossed so many lines.
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